


Let It Go

by Erimthar



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Christmas, Cunnilingus, Elf, F/F, F/M, Fellatio, Futanari, Hermaphrodites, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:10:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2835842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erimthar/pseuds/Erimthar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenzi and Bo have a Christmas adventure, followed by another, sexier adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let It Go

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Lost Girl Christmas story. It's in continuity with my earlier story, "Ssslither," but has no direct connection to it.
> 
> Trigger warnings for mentions of potential rape and pedophilia, although no actual rape or pedophilia happens.

Bo and I both love Christmas. Where we have a major disagreement, though, is on the topic of Christmas shopping. I love being in a mall at the height of the holiday frenzy... the surly crowds, the cheesy piped-in music, the tacky decorations. I even have had a lifelong self-imposed ban on picking pockets or shoplifting in a Christmas zone. It just doesn't seem right.

Bo hates the Christmas crush. I think it's a succubus thing: they're much more used to dealing with people one-on-one rather than with crowds of angry ninja mothers who are willing and eager to cut a bitch over the last remaining My Little Pony Princess Castle.

But I can be very persuasive. Also, very annoying. So that's how Bo and I found ourselves at the mall five days before Christmas, with bags in all four of our hands and under both of Bo's eyes.

"If we hurry, we can just catch the late showing of _Frozen_ ," I was telling her. "I already saw it with a theater full of kids... because you just _have_ to... but now I want to see the grown-up showing so I can finally hear the dialogue."

"Uh-huh," Bo agreed. "Can we sit in the back row so I can take a nap?"

"We most certainly can _not_ ," I huffed. "With all the sacrifices those poor cartoon characters go through for your entertainment, you're gonna watch and sing along. Love is an open door, Bo, and for the first time in forever I'm not gonna let it g... Bodacious, are you even listening to me?"

She wasn't, which was nothing new. But she sure as hell was paying attention to something. At first I thought she had an odd fascination with the mall Santa sitting on his throne in the center court as we passed through. A disturbing kink even by her standards. But a moment later I realized she was actually staring at Santa's girl elf assistant.

Every mall Santa has one... usually some bored teenager looking to make some Christmas cash by wrangling screaming, incontinent five-year-olds without even so much as a taser. You can usually recognize these temp elves by their pasted-on smiles and thousand-yard stares.

This one, however, seemed to actually be cheerful. She bopped happily back and forth from the throne to the end of the line, then over to the camera to snap the requisite picture, then back to Santa to help the kid down off the royal lap and out the exit before bringing in the next rugrat.

I don't think it was her dedication Bo was admiring, so much as her... well, everything. The girl was really pretty, Too pretty, maybe, to be working as a shopping mall elf. But, this being a fairly upscale mall, maybe they paid well enough to be worthy of a young actress or model's CV.

She was tall, blonde and beautiful, with a radiant smile and legs all the way up to ya-ya. And you could very nearly see the ya-ya in question... there were several inches of creamy bare thigh between the fur-lined hem of her red-and-white dress and the tops of her candy-striped leggings. Maybe kind of a questionable costume for the situation, but for some reason nobody seemed to mind. Bo sure didn't.

“Well, ho ho _ho_ ,” I snarked cattily. “Something for the kiddies, and something for the daddies too.”

“I think I just discovered the true meaning of Christmas,” Bo purred.

“Damp panties?”

“I’m not wearing any.”

“All the more reason to get you into a dark theater right away, then,” I said, tugging her sleeve. “Come on. I’m warning you, if we miss ‘Do You Want To Build a Snowman’ I’m going to sing it non-stop from now until spring. Over and over and over. Are you coming?”

“Apparently not,” Bo grouched. But she started walking again, and we made it to the theater on time.

* * * * *

“ _For the first time in forever, there’ll be magic, there’ll be fun…”_ I sang as we walked through the nearly empty mall, the stores having closed for the night about an hour before the movie ended.

“Kenzi, you promised not to sing the songs if I sat through the movie with you,” Bo said.

“I remember no such promise. So what did you think, grumpy-pants?”

“It was okay,” she said with a shrug, taking a loud straw-slurp on the remains of her giant tub of pop. “The animation was cool. The snowman was funny. The singing was good. Um, Elsa had nice legs…”

“ _Seriously?_ You’re going to succubize this beautiful, innocent children’s movie? Yeah, that ending would have been a lot better if Elsa had been carried up to her bedroom and finger-banged by a horny succubus.”

“Well, they had to leave something for the sequel. Besides, I always lead with tongue, not finger.”

“ _La la la,_ I’m not listening.” I clamped my mittened hands over my ears. “Forgive her, ghost of Walt Disney. She doesn’t know what she’s saying because she is a pervert.”

We passed the center court again, but Santa’s throne was closed for the night, and the Jolly Old Elf and the Sexy Young Elf were both gone. Bo was clearly disappointed.

“Cheer up, Bobo,” I told her. “There’s still time until Christmas. Maybe we can come back and you can ask to sit in Santa’s assistant’s lap.”

“And then she can yell for the mall cops when I tell her what I want for Christmas.”

“Poor Bo,” I told her with a jolly dose of Christmas sarcasm. “Never gets what she _really_ wants for Christmas. Just transparent negligees and jumbo vibrators and edible underwear and stuff.”

* * * * *

It had snowed a little while we’d been shopping and watching the movie. The nearly empty parking lot was covered in a thin sheet of white. Nights always seem brighter when there’s snow on the ground, which is probably why we noticed what was happening over near the edge of the parking lot, just beyond the lights.

There was a black sedan parked there. Standing around outside of it were three men in dark outfits, and the object of Bo’s lust, the professional elf from the mall. We could clearly pick out her colorful costume even there in the shadows.

One of the men opened the back door of the car and tried to push the elf chick inside. She struggled, and for the first time we could see that her hands and feet were tied up, and she was gagged.

I heard a thump and a clatter of ice cubes behind me as Bo threw her empty pop cup on the ground and took off running toward the car.

“Oh, _crap_ ,” I muttered as I ran after her. My stylish high-heeled boots weren’t designed for running across a snowy parking lot, and my slender girlish body certainly wasn’t designed for fighting the type of dudes who go around in dark suits kidnapping people in black sedans. Any one of those thugs could have picked me up and snapped my spine over his knee. But Bo was my best friend, and I had to have her back even at the cost of my own.

The goons were too busy with what they were doing to notice us until we got pretty close, and one of them was distracted talking on his phone. “Untie the elf and get her out of here,” Bo called to me as she plowed into the two guys who had just squared around to fight. As she did, she kicked out and caught the phone-talking goon with a nasty crotch-kick. He went down, though not as forcefully as I would have expected. But it gave me enough time to get to the girl.

Her wrists and ankles were zip-tied, but not with police-grade ties… just the cheap crap you can buy in supermarkets. I grabbed my knife out of my purse and cut her loose while her goon was still struggling to get to his feet. Her ankles came loose just as he got up, and then… he went down again as the elf put her knee in his groin. At least he saw it coming this time.

Bo was holding her own with her two thugs. Fortunately they didn’t have any weapons. Guess they didn’t figure they’d need any for kidnapping a shopping mall Christmas elf. But they were big guys, there were two of them, and Bo isn’t Xena, so I knew she could only keep them busy long enough to get the girl to safety.

“Come on,” I said, grabbing the elf’s arm and trying to pull her away. I only dragged her a few steps before she planted her feet and refused to come any further. She seemed determined not to leave the scene of the crime. I helped her get the gag out of her mouth. It turned out to be a kinky bondage-style ball gag.

“We have to go back,” she said after she spit out the ball. “We can’t let them get my backpack!”

Backpack? I looked back toward the car and sure enough, there was a red vinyl backpack sitting next to it. In fact, the guy with the much-abused nutsack was picking it up with one hand (still holding his jewels with the other) and throwing it into the back seat of the sedan.

“Do you know any Christmas carols?” the elf asked me, urgently. “Like, maybe _Hark the Herald Angels Sing_? It’s the one from the Charlie Brown special.”

“You want to go caroling? We need to get to the crappy yellow Camaro convertible, over there. See?”

“Not without my backpack,” she insisted, pulling me back toward the car. “Come on, sing with me. Please?”

“Dammit, I never know what’s going on.” I let her lead me back to where Bo was still fighting. She’d taken a couple punches and dealt out a few as well, but she couldn’t keep it up forever. She glanced over at us with an angry questioning look. She had quite reasonably believed I’d have elf girl back to the safety of her car by now.

“ _Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king…”_

Wow, Blondie could really belt out a tune. She looked at me with eyes that asked me to join her.

“ _Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled,”_ we sang, in pretty good harmony for two people who had just met three minutes ago.

I didn’t know how many of the words I’d be able to remember, but a really weird thing happened with the three goons. As we sang, they broke off their fight with Bo and put their hands over their ears, grimacing in pain. They looked like they were listening to a jet engine revving up right beside them, instead of two girls singing a Christmas song.

Nut boy had slammed the car door, with the backpack inside, and run around to the other side of the sedan. “Come on,” he yelled to the others. “We got what we need. Once we get paid we can buy as many bitches as we want.”

The other two seemed to agree, and scrambled to get into the car. Bo, seeing that the girl was safe, was more than ready to let them go.

“ _Nooooo_. Damn damn damn damn damn… Sorry to be so naughty this close to Christmas, but… damn!” The girl bounced around in circles in her frustration. Finally she took a deep breath and stood with her hands on her hips, watching the sedan’s tail lights disappear down a service road into the nearby woods.

“Well, that was interesting,” I told her. “I thought we sounded pretty good, actually…”

“We did,” the girl agreed with a wan smile. “Those were boggarts. They can’t stand the sound of Christmas music. It’s physically painful to them.”

“Huh. I only have that reaction to _Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer_ , myself.”

“I need to find those men,” she said. “I need to get that backpack.”

“What was in it?” Bo asked.

The girl glanced at her. “Something very…” Then she did a double-take and looked Bo hard in the eyes.

“You’re Fae,” she said. “You’re a…. oooh, you’re a succubus! Good, then you should know who the local Dark Fae elder is around here.”

Bo and I looked at each other, surprised. We’d never met anyone who could identify Fae at a glance before… and even tell which _type_ of Fae.

“I’m not Dark,” Bo told her. “I’m unaligned. But the local Dark Fae elder is the Morrigan.”

“Morrigan. Right.” The girl pulled a red-cased smartphone out of… somewhere, and placed a call.

“She’s got the Morrigan’s phone number?” I said. Bo just shrugged.

“Yes, this is Ingrid Borealis, personal representative of the Kringle,” the girl said into the phone in an angry-person-in-charge voice. “I need to speak to the Morrigan about a major violation of the Kringle-Krampus Treaty. Yeah, you heard me. Put your boss on, please… She what? Well, yes, I think you _should_ bother her about this unless you want my boss to come down on her like a gunny sack full of poop at a fancy dress ball. Uh-huh. You do that. I’ll be waiting.”

She put the phone away, huffing in annoyance. Bo and I just blinked at her.

“Sorry,” she said with a small grin. “Just business. I’m Ingrid, by the way. Thank you for saving me from those shi…. Um, I mean, poop-heads.”

“I'm Bo, and this is Kenzi," Bo told her. "What exactly were they after?”

“Hmm? Oh. Rape, as far as I’m concerned. But mainly they wanted Santa’s Magic Snowball. It was in that backpack that they took.”

Bo and I stared at her in silence. “Whut?” I finally asked, thoughtfully.

“Oh, right,” she said. “I’m a Christmas elf. From the North Pole. I was down here on a recon mission, trying to gather a few last-minute gift lists and report them back to the home office. I had Santa’s Magic Snowball with me. You know, the one that lets him see who’s naughty or nice? And now I’ve lost it, and if I can’t get it back I’ll be in deep shi… I mean, doo-doo.”

“You’re… a Christmas elf,” Bo said calmly.

“You know,” I said also calmly, “there was a time when I wouldn’t have believed that.”

“It’s true,” she said. She pulled off her red-and-white Santa hat and pushed her blonde hair back over her ear. It was pointy, all right. She was either a Vulcan or an elf.

“Oooh,” I said. “So that Santa back there in the mall… was the _real_ Santa?”

Ingrid smiled. “No, that was a retired insurance claims adjuster named Phil. Sweet old guy. I was just standing in for the girl who was supposed to be elfing for him this weekend.”

“But Santa seriously has a magic snowball that can look in on all the kids in the world?” Bo asked.

“Sure. Haven’t you ever seen the documentary about it? The one with the dancing puppets and stuff? Fred Astaire?”

“Burgermeister Meisterburger!” I squealed.

“That’s the one. Well, that tells how the Winter Warlock gave my boss the Magic Snowball as a gift to help with his Kringling activities.”

“Wait… those Christmas cartoons are _real_?”

“Sure,” she said. “What, you didn’t think they just made all that stuff up, did you? Only Santa doesn’t sound like Mickey Rooney, really. More like Ed Asner. That’s why we elves always laugh whenever we see that Will Ferrell movie. Well, one of the reasons. That movie is so cute!

“I know, right?” I agreed. Then I got serious again, because _holy shit I’m talking to a real fucking Christmas elf._

“So how to you intend to get this Snowball back?” Bo asked.

“By going right to the top. Those boggarts are Dark Fae. We North Pole peeps are Light, but we have an ancient non-aggression treaty with the Dark. It’s centuries old. Dates back even before the Great War and the Blood Laws. We don’t mess with the Darks, and they don’t mess with us. So I’m lodging an official protest with the Morrigan.”

“You do realize the Morrigan is a Class-A bitch, right?” I told her.

“Well, yeah. She’s a Dark Fae elder. But no matter how much of a bit… _witch_ , she is, she’s not going to want the consequences of violating the Kringle-Krampus Treaty.”

Just then we heard the sound of jingle bells up in the sky, and something bright and shiny flying through the air and getting closer. Then what to our wondering eyes did appear, but a sleek little sleigh and... well, two beautiful white flying horses. That doesn't rhyme. Sorry.

The sleigh was solid silver with white enamel, and sitting in the driver's seat was not jolly old St. Nick, but the Morrigan. The sleigh touched down about thirty feet away and glided to a graceful stop right next to us in the parking lot.

Evony Fleurette Marquise is a genuinely horrible person, but you'd have to be blind or stupid to deny that she's a hottie with style. She was sheathed from neck to toe in a silvery-white spandex ski suit, with matching white gloves, boots, and fur hat. White fur lined the suit at her wrists, ankles, and along the deeply plunging neckline. Her beautiful dark hair flooded down her back and her headlights were set to "high beam." And I don't mean on the sleigh. The Morrigan was not wearing a bra. Behind her, in the back seat, was a nice-looking pair of skis and a weekend bag.

"Well," she said, looking at us. "This would-be fun weekend went to hell in record time."

"Nice to see you, too," I told her. She smirked at me.

"You must be the elf with the complaint," she said to Ingrid.

"Yes," she said. "Thank you for the amazingly quick response."

"I was passing through on my way to spend the weekend on the ski slopes. Or strutting and lounging in the ski lodge, more like."

"Well, I'm sorry to disturb you," Ingrid said, "But I have to report a clear and serious treaty violation. Three Dark Fae have stolen Santa's Magic Snowball and assaulted me, as well."

"How do you know they were Dark Fae?"

"Uh, they _stole Santa's Magic Snowball_ a week before Christmas," Bo pointed out.

"Hmmm. Fair point," Evony mused.

"Also, they couldn't bear the sound of Christmas music," Ingrid added. "They were boggarts. Goblins. They obviously knew that I had the Snowball and where to find me. According to what they said, their plan was to take me back to their hideout and take turns raping me, then throw me naked out in the snow to freeze to death. They're obviously idiots as well as... well, rapists. I'm a freakin' Christmas Elf. I live at the North Pole. This is shorts weather for me."

"Boggarts aren't well known for their intellectual achievements." Evony's smirk had faded a bit. "Did they mention what they planned to do with the Snowball? Give presents to all the naughty kids and leave coal in all the good kids' stockings?"

"They're going to leave worse than that inside good kids' stockings," Ingrid replied with a frown. "They're going to sell the Snowball to a pedophile ring."

That stunned all of us as we took in the implications.

"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake..." Bo muttered.

"He sees you when you're taking a bath, or getting changed, or... um, certain other things that kids do," I added. "Damn, should _Santa_ even be trusted with this thing?"

"Think of him like the family doctor," Ingrid said. I thought about _my_ family doctor when I was a kid, and wasn't reassured.

The Morrigan wasn't smiling anymore. "Did any of these boggarts make any music that you heard? Any sort of music at all?"

"No," Ingrid said. "Oh, wait. I heard the ringtone on one of their phones. It was that song that goes _Hey now, you're a rock star._ "

The Morrigan rolled her eyes. "Nineties jock rock. But that should be all I need to track them. Get in."

Ingrid jumped into the back seat of the sleigh without any hesitation. Bo and I looked at each other and shrugged. Bo climbed in the back next to Ingrid, and I got into shotgun position next to the Bitch Queen herself. I figured I could keep an eye on her for any funny stuff.

She shook the reins, the horses started off and a few seconds later we left the ground. I glanced over the side to see the ground quickly disappearing into the distance below us. I made an embarrassing squeak as my stomach tried to escape through my vagina.

As we reached cruising altitude... about five hundred feet... Evony started singing softly to herself. She had a really pretty voice.

 

_"Hey now, you're a porn star,_

_Get a hard-on, get laid..._

_Hey now, you're a fuck star,_

_Get your rocks off, get paid..."_

 

"Um, I don't think those are the right words," I told her.

"The right words are whichever ones I sing," she said brightly. "I found them. They went that way, into the deep woods." She changed course slightly, and soon we were gliding high above the treetops of a snow-covered evergreen forest.

I sat there uncomfortably next to her for a while. But you know me... I can't keep quiet for very long or my head explodes.

"So, you've got a problem with pedophiles, eh? I guess that's nice to know. The mean old Morrigan has a soft spot for kids?"

She glanced over at me, still smiling.

"Kenzi, right? Do you know what I got for Christmas when I was eleven years old, Kenzi?"

"No. What?"

"Pregnant."

I shut up then. She continued to hum her porn star song. After a few minutes, we started descending toward the forest. A ways off in the distance I could see a little clearing with the lighted windows of a cabin in the middle. Nearby was a black speck that must have been the sedan.

"I'll set down a couple hundred feet away so they don't see or hear us coming," the Morrigan said over her shoulder to Ingrid. "Then we'll go relieve them of their ball."

After we landed alongside the snow-dusted dirt road, the four of us climbed out and started toward the lights of the cabin in the distance. I had no idea why the Morrigan was coming along with us in her sexy white snow bunny outfit, unless it was to warn her goons or to suddenly turn against us once the fight started. But there wasn't much we could do at this point.

It was really cold out there in the woods. I hadn't dressed warmly enough for this and now I was freezing my tits off. I had to shake my head when I looked at Ingrid in her little red fur-lined minidress and her candy-striped thigh-highs. She looked perfectly comfortable. Also, unfairly cute.

We stopped at the edge of the clearing to try to work out how we were going to approach this.

"I could walk in there and see if they cower before my authority," Evony said. "But they might attack us before they even recognize me. Besides, they're probably just smart enough to know I wouldn't approve a violation of the Kringle-Krampus Treaty. And they've already fought Bo. I'm afraid we won't have much element of surprise."

"They've fought _this_ Bo," Bo said, pointing to herself. "But I wonder how they'll react to being confronted with _this_ Bo."

As the three of us stood there watching Bo shuffled off her jacket, yanked off her shirt, and undid the clasp on the front of her bra. A jumbo pair of creamy white boobs bounced and jiggled free of their prison. Her nipples immediately expressed their opinion of the sub-freezing air.

"Instant element of surprise," Bo said, grinning.

"And that's what being a succubus is all about, Charlie Brown," said the Morrigan, with obvious admiration.

"Wow," said Ingrid. "I would have said _damn_ , but it's too close to Christmas.”

“The three of us will go in together,” Bo said. “Kenzi, you sing a Christmas song. I’ll try to keep them busy long enough for Ingrid to run in, grab the backpack, and run out. Then we run for the sleigh.”

“And I’ll just come along as an observer,” the Morrigan said. She stared at Bo’s chest. “A very _interested_ observer.”

Bo huffed, and we all got into position. On the silent count of three, she kicked in the door.

The three goons were all there and they all spun to look at Bo as she burst in. Just as she’d planned, though, her face was not the first thing that caught their attention.

Ingrid and I held back a few seconds in the hopes that the thugs might assume Bo was the only attacker, and converge on her. They did, and we had a few precious seconds to act. Ingrid spotted her backpack sitting on a folding table in the room.

We both barged into the room at the same time.

“ _Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaaay….”_ I sang.

“That’s not a Christmas song, Kenzi!” Ingrid shouted as the dove into the room after the backpack.

“What? Of course it is!”

“Is not! It doesn’t mention Christmas!”

“Okay, okay, damn,” I muttered, and racked my brain for a real Christmas tune.

After spending precious seconds running through all the obvious carols, none of which I could remember more than the first couple lines of, I started singing a Russian one I remembered from being a kid.

I didn’t know whether a Russian carol would work or not. I had no idea how ethnic differences might play around with this magic.

But it worked! The two goons Bo was fighting clapped their hands over their ears and fell back. The other one had been going for Ingrid with a baseball bat, but he dropped it and did the same. With the kind of speed and agility one might expect from an elf, Ingrid grabbed the backpack in one hand and was past me and out the door in a flash.

Bo and I backed toward the door, ready to get out in the open and make a mad dash for the sleigh. But the Morrigan pushed past us and into the room as if she was making her entrance at Studio 54.

The three goons all froze and stared at her in amazement.

“Boss?” one of them ventured. “Wow, you look _good_!”

“How sweet of you to say,” she said with a voice that dripped poisonous honey. “I try hard to make myself beautiful, but apparently I don’t even rate a whistle.”

“Whistle?” the same goon said, puzzled.

“Of course. Every woman likes her looks to be recognized with a good old-fashioned construction worker wolf whistle.”

“You want me to whistle at you?” the goon said, even more puzzled.

“Yes, I do,” Evony said evenly.

The goon nervously pursed his lips and let out the traditional two-note whistle. Only two notes, but it was technically music.

“Thank you,” the Morrigan said. The goon wadded himself up like a greasy hamburger wrapper and formed a puddle on the ground.

The Morrigan looked down at him for a moment, then turned to the next goblin. She stared hard at him for a moment as he looked in terror at the remains of his former buddy.

“You’ve karaoke’d recently,” she said to him. “You know my laws against karaoke-ing. Especially the singing of Diane Warren songs.”

Goon #2 joined Goon #1 on the floor.

The Morrigan looked around for the third goblin, just in time to see him crash head-first through the closed window and out into the snow, where he staggered to his feet and left a bloody trail as she ran off into the woods.

“Oh, well,” Evony sighed. “He wasn’t very musical anyway, I’m afraid.”

She turned and sashayed out the door just as if she hadn’t just murdered two of her own followers.

“Damn,” I said to her. “Those guys were assholes, but still… damn.”

“You now live in a world with two fewer goblin rapists in it,” she said. “Merry Christmas.”

It was a quiet trip as we rode in Evony’s sleigh back to the parking lot where Bo’s Camaro was. Ingrid, a relieved smile on her face, clutched her backpack to her chest as if she was trying to breast-feed it. I hoped she wouldn’t melt the magic snowball inside, but I guess magic snowballs don’t do that.

“Sorry I can’t stick around and drink beer or ride mechanical bulls or whatever it is you people do with your Friday nights,” Evony said after she dropped us off. “But I have to meet a very promising young singer at Blue Mountain this weekend.”

“And toss his testicles off the chair lift?” I asked.

“Oh, I have much better plans for his testicles,” she replied. “I’m going to fuck him until he can’t imagine life without me on top of him. Then I’m going to make him a star, and then I’m going to ruin his life. Well… not _all_ this weekend, of course. Just the first thing.”

“What if he doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined?”

“Then, Kenzi, he will be absolutely unique among the people of this world. So long, all. Don’t be in any hurry to keep in touch.”

Then she took off into the sky and left us alone. I guess that made us the luckiest people to cross her path that weekend.

It was pretty late as we finally all climbed into Bo’s car.

“Can we drop you off somewhere, Ingrid?” Bo asked as we pulled out of the parking lot.

“Yes,” she answered. “Your house, please.”

“Um… our house?”

“Of course. You two need to open your Christmas present.”

“What Christmas present is that?”

“Me.”

Bo and I looked at each other, stunned. Her smiling, me frowning.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” Bo purred to herself.

“Um… Ingrid, I appreciate your gratitude, but… I’m not into girls,” I said.

“I’m not a girl, silly,” she said. “I’m an elf.”

* * * * *

Bo and Ingrid were already getting frisky and giggly as we walked in the front door of the hovel.

"Isn't there some kind of Elf Anti-Naughty Law about having sex with random people?" I asked. "Especially this close to Christmas?"

"Not at all," Ingrid said. "In fact, it's part of my job. Elves exist to bring as much pleasure into the world as possible. Every time we experience pleasure, the world becomes a better place. More joy for us means more joy for everyone."

"That must be nice," I said.

"Oh, yes. Being an elf is _soooo_ much fun."

Bo had gotten behind Ingrid and put her arms around her while kissing her neck. Ingrid dissolved in giggles. Bo undid the elf's black leather belt.

"Well, I'll head up to my room now and leave you two kids to your lesbonian activities," I said.

"Please stay," Ingrid pleaded. "You and Bo both helped save Christmas. Well, along with the Morrigan, but she's busy and kind of scares me. And I think you're both really hot. I was hoping we could all share each other."

I gulped. How much more surreal could life get?

"Come on, Kenz," Bo urged. "It's Christmas. Time to cut loose and try something new. Let it go."

She winked at me. I grimaced at her. She wasn't playing fair.

I stood there, not sure what to do. A lifetime of resolute heterosexuality was telling me to go up to bed and put in earplugs. My erect clitoris was telling me otherwise.

Bo pushed Ingrid's spaghetti straps down over her shoulders, and the red minidress slid down her body to the floor. Her falsies went with it.

I blinked at the sight. Ingrid had been wearing falsies not because she had small breasts, but because she didn't have any at all. In fact, she didn't even have any nipples.

"Ummmm." I said.

As I stood there like an idiot wondering what had happened to this girl's boobs, Bo kissed her way obliviously down Ingrid's bare back until she was kneeling behind her.

"Let's see what we have in here," Bo purred. She hooked her fingers into Ingrid's red bikini panties and slid them down over her legs and stripey leggins.

"Oh God, what an adorable little elf butt," Bo moaned, and began covering the butt in question with licky little succubus kisses. Ingrid squeaked with delighted laughter.

I was looking at her from the other side, though, and my eyes went even wider.

"And what an adorable little elf _dick_ ," I said. "Holy crap. You're a _dude_." She was indeed sporting a penis. A small one, but a penis nevertheless.

"I am _not_ a dude," Ingrid said. "I told you, Kenzi, I'm an _elf_."

She lifted up her limp little dick to reveal a shocking absence of scrotum, and an equally shocking presence of pink slit. She had a vagina under there.

"Well... golly," I said.

And then I was done with constantly staring in amazement, like a backwoods hick seeing skyscrapers for the first time. I was also done with being indecisive.

I hope you wouldn't judge me if you saw me there a minute later, with Ingrid's tongue in my mouth and her now hard cock in my hand. You can only live with a succubus for so long before you develop a more open mind about certain things. And you know what they say... open your mind, and your legs will follow.

(Footnote: Actually, I don't think anybody says that except me, just now.)

I was clearly making out with a girl. She was soft and smooth and pretty, and she smelled and tasted so nice. But then there was that penis... about five inches, fully inflated... currently throbbing in my left hand.

"I'm crazy for doing this," I whispered to Ingrid.

"You can be as crazy as you want, as long as you don't stop doing it," she moaned. "God, Kenzi. Your hand feels so good."

"Kinda nervous," I admitted.

"I know. I can feel your heart pounding."

Bo was still on her knees behind the elf, rolling down her leggings and making lots of lustful noises as he kissed and fondled Ingrid's long, beautiful legs.

"I think we're gonna need a rubber, Bo-bear," I said. "Maybe two. Better get three, just to be safe."

"There's no need for that," Ingrid said. "Elves make love, not babies. This equipment is strictly for entertainment purposes. I can't get you pregnant and I can't get pregnant."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. I have no testicles. No ovaries, no womb, no breasts."

"Well... how do you get more elves?"

She smiled. "Now _that_ is a sexy story for another time."

"Well, here's a sexy story for _this_ time," I said. I took her by the hand and led her over to the beer-stained slab of wood we use as a coffee table. I sat her down on the edge of it.

I knelt down between her legs. "If somebody has told me this morning that I was going to suck a Christmas elf's dick tonight, I'd have said they were crazy."

"I would have said they were _inspired_ ," Ingrid said with that dazzling grin of hers.

I grinned back. Then I grabbed the dick in question, pulled back the foreskin, and engulfed it in my mouth.

She gasped. " _OOOOOoooohhhh_ , yes. Oh, Kenzi, all kinds of _yes_."

As my head bobbed up and down on her shaft, I put my arms around her legs and lifted them up so they were draped over my shoulders. Her skin was almost supernaturally soft and silky. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her inner thighs squirming and twitching and rubbing against my neck and cheeks.

Ingrid lay back flat on the coffee table, one hand firmly on the back of my head and the other grabbing the edge of the table. She moaned and groaned and squeaked and hiccupped at the ceiling.

I could see movement out of the corner of my eye and hear the rustling of fabric and the clinking of buckles. Basic black was gradually being replaced by creamy white over there as Bo got naked.

I concentrated on the matter at hand... or the matter in mouth, more accurately... until I felt something heavy being put on the table. I looked up to see that Bo had stepped up onto it.

You've probably never seen Bo completely nude. Not full frontal, at least. And you've certainly never seen her in full aroused succubus mode.

It can really take you by surprise, how sexy she is. I mean, she's certainly pretty. She's got an amazing rack, perfect skin, muscular amazon legs, and an ass you really wouldn't believe. But she almost always keeps her goods hidden behind those shapeless black clothes of hers.

Now, I was looking at a butt-naked succubus with a full head of steam.

Her whole body is made of pure exaggerated sex, her ladybits especially. She has a thick, untrimmed 1970's bush (in contrast to Ingrid, who has no pubic hair at all). As she stood there on the table, I could see poking out from its center a pair of thick, puffy, raggedy crimson lips, glistening in the dim light. At their apex was a big, bulging clit that looked like a pink cocktail onion.

I watched as Bo, facing me, put her feet on either side of Ingrid's head. Then she slowly lowered herself down to her knees, and sat on Ingrid's face.

Ingrid's sexy soprano muffled itself, to be replaced by Bo's heartfelt grunts and groans. I could see Ingrid's wet, wiggly tongue dancing lightning-fast all over Bo's labia and cocktail onion.

Bo started gyrating her hips against her lover's face. She took her big breasts in hand and started squeezing and kneading and pinching them.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I reached down and unbuttoned my pants. Slid my left hand down in there and started playing with myself.

I used my left hand for that because I'd decided to go exploring with my right.

I shrugged Ingrid's legs off my shoulders and pushed them wide open. Then I took her dick out of my mouth and lifted it up to look underneath. Her lips were puffy and wet, much like Bo's and mine were.

I took a deep breath, said goodbye to the old Kenzi, and, for the first time in my life, I licked a pussy.

I decided the best approach was to do to Ingrid what I liked having done to me. That meant alternating between fast and slow, short and long, up and down and side to side. Every so often I sent my tongue darting right inside her. She tasted so nice. Sweet, like honey.

She didn't have a clitoris. Her penis jutted out from where the clit would be on a regular chick. I could feel it bumping against my forehead as I licked her out. So every so often, I let my tongue dart along the underside of her cock, up and down the twitching rope of muscle. Swirled my tongue around the bulging, purple head... took her down my throat for three or four quick strokes... and then licked back along the underside to go to work on her pussy again.

Ingrid's frantic kicking and squirming and wriggling, along with the tightness of her hand against the back of my head, the frantic pounding of her other fist against the table, and the increasingly desperate tone of her Bo-muffled squeals, told me she was very much enjoying what I was doing to her.

Bo had gone oddly still and quiet. I looked up at her face. She looked like she was kind of in a trance. Her eyes were glowing bright blue, but seemed to be glazed over as she stared down at me. Her mouth hung slightly open and her lower lip was trembling... in fact, her whole body was trembling.

Moving my eyes further down, I could see that Ingrid was still working feverishly with her nimble elf-tongue. A blue-white river of _chi_ flooded out of her mouth and deep into Bo's vagina.

That was a new one on me. I thought Bobikins could only suck _chi_ mouth-to-mouth... which, now that I thought about it, would have made the procedure kind of awkward during lesbian sex.

I've given prostate massages to guys a couple of times. You slide a finger up his ass, find the right spot, and tickle it while you suck him or jerk him off. If you do it right, he'll have a huge, intense orgasm.

I tried to figure out how that would work with Ingrid's unusual body. Probably not through her asshole. Maybe...

With her dick in my mouth, I gently slid my index finger up into her pussy. She was warm and wet and tight inside. The muscle that ran along the underside of her penis seemed to continue inside along the roof of her vagina. I followed it in as far as my finger would reach, and then I went _coochie-coochie-coo_ with my fingertip.

Oh, that did it.

Ingrid insantly turned into a thrashing, struggling little ball of desperation. I barely even noticed as the lights on our Christmas tree suddenly came on by themselves, followed by the strings of lights I'd put along the pillars and ceiling. All the candles in the place lit themselves, and the CD player turned itself on. Billie Holiday singing _I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm_.

Then Ingrid screamed, and came in my mouth.

And came. And came. And _came_.

Ingrid had a small penis and no balls. I had reasonably assumed that even if she did ejaculate when she came, there wouldn't be much.

Oh, boy. I was wrong.

I wasn't anywhere near ready for how hard and fast and _much_ she spurted, and I choked on it.

Gagging and coughing and snarfing elf-jizz out my nose, I took her cock out of my mouth and was rewarded with a second load, as powerful as the first, all over my face.

Trying to catch my breath, I pushed her gushing shaft away from me... which meant that it was Bo's turn to get decorated.

A thick rope of jizz spattered against Bo's left shoulder, across her breast and belly, down to her right hip.

That seemed to break Bo out of her _chi_ -sucking reverie. She blinked, look dumbly down at her cum-spattered front, then looked at me. She made a sour-lemon face, and came like a crazy woman.

When it was all over, the place looked like a scene out of Sodom and Gomorrah. I knelt there on the floor, with my pants open but both my hands now busy trying to keep Ingrid's semen from dripping in my eyes or down onto my clothes where it would stain.

Ingrid lay there on her back, her lovely legs dangling off the end of the table, looking as fresh as a daisy and as happy as a kitten in catnip. Bo had fallen backwards off Ingrid's face and was now also lying on her back, her ankles hooked around the edges of the table and her arm draped over her face in an attitude of total exhaustion.

Ingrid had squirted one more powerful jet of cum all over Bo's right thigh, then made a puddle on her own belly before finally running out of ammunition.

When I finally stopped coughing, I was able to notice that Ingrid's semen, while warm and gooey, was very sweet instead of the usual salty.

"Is this sugar?" I asked her. "Do you come pure liquid sugar?"

"Of course," Ingrid replied dreamily. "I'm an elf. Oooooh, that was so good. And I needed it so bad. I feel like I just lost twenty pounds."

"I think you _did_ ," I said. "What, do you have a prostate the size of a grapefruit?"

"Not anymore," she said with a giggle. "Thank you."

Bo struggled up onto her elbows in a semi-sitting position. "I think we all need a nice shower," she said, "and then to bed."

"Oh, I wish I could, but I can't!" Ingrid cried. "I have to get back to the Pole with the Snowball before they wonder where I am and come looking for me. No offense, but... I don't think you guys want an elf search party materializing here in your living room at this particular moment, do you?"

Hmmmm... two cum-drenched women and one deeply relieved naked hermaphrodite elf. Nope, nothing to see here.

Ingrid got to her feet and scampered into the kitchen. Bo and I both watched that tight little bare bottom jiggle as she ran.

She got a handful of paper towels and wiped the jizz off her belly, then wiped herself off between her legs.

She laughed at us as she came back over and started picking up her clothes. "Sorry I got so _enthusiastic_ with you guys. You really do need showers. Or rather, you need _a_ shower. Together."

She gathered up her dress, leggings, hat and panties. As she did, she noticed I was still sitting there fully clothed.

"Oh, Kenzi," she said. "You didn't get a climax. I'm so sorry... how selfish of me."

"Oh, don't worry," I said. "I'll have a few later tonight." I wiggled the fingers of my right hand.

Ingrid seemed so unhappy that I'd been left high and dry. (Well, not dry.)

She thought for a minute. "What are you guys doing for New Year's Eve?"

"Um, we're hosting a party right here at the house."

"Do you have a date, Kenzi?"

"No...."

"Well, you do now. The Christmas craziness will be over by then, and I'll really be able to relax. And take care of business." She winked at me. "And I won't be dressed like this."

"You're not dressed at all," I reminded her.

"Oh. Like _this_ , I mean." She held out her armful of Christmasy elf clothes. "So is it a date? New Year's Eve?"

You only live once. "Sure," I said. "It's a date."

Ingrid beamed. She hoisted up her red backpack in her free hand, then found her shiny red pumps and stepped into them. "I'll be here without bells on," she said. "Those bells get really tiresome after a while."

She clicked her heels, said "There's no place like home," and vanished.

"That did not just happen," I said.

"Did any of this just happen?" Bo asked.

"I dunno. Christmas magic isn't like I expected."

Bo looked over at me and smiled. so, about that shower, she said.

i looked at her and smiled. we went upstairs.

i could tell you what happened in the shower, and i will tell you soon about what happened new year's eve when ingrid came to party. but typing with one hand like this is hard. i need to go do something now. have a merry christmas and be good... or, you know, don't.

[ ](http://www.aeolia.net/ingrid.jpg)

 

 


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